• one magnifying cup for catching bugs. this was a favorite for years.
• one ball. why oh why do we have balls roaming the house?
• three usb squares. they seem to outnumber the cords by quite a few.

• eight brackets. seemed like a good idea at the time.
• one tennis ball. we do not play tennis.

• five embroidery hoops. only the outside rings, but they are useless without their neighbors.

• twenty-five pieces of paper. which seemed important but aren't.

• five cords. don't know, don't care.

• one purse. once my favorite, lots of good use.
• four more books. found another stash.

• two glue sticks. we have a lot of glue sticks. 
• one book.now i can stop feeling guilty about not reading it.
• one dress. i have bad memories associated with this dress.
• one scarf. so pretty! never wear it.

• six children's books. these are hard, but i never remember the ones i shed.

• one new drywall screen. a job i hope never to do again.
• one paint stirring stick. so many of these.
• an almost-empty bottle of wood glue. just enough to start a project then get stuck.
• a plastic putty knife. plastic?
• a bag of random sink hardware. i hate plumbing.

• two pairs of pants. they don't fit and they no longer reflect my style. so easy!
• three bras. the hardest thing to fit, and the most important.

• paint sample. hmmm, looks like glow in the dark.
• light switch. must have been replaced with... something else.
• electrical out. definitely replaced with a different one.
• switch plate. unused in this house.
• bunch of wires. which could likely be used in a really cool art project. but.

• three fake tupperware containers. converted to candle holders. done.
• two pairs butterfly wings. gifted to tiny people.

• two bottles of hair product. no wonder this is a multi-billion dollar industry.
• three metal grid walls. sold, which is always a nice way to get rid of something you don't want.

• a stack of outdated fliers. information changes. it just does.
• paper remnants of social media class. funny that the materials were printed?
• small pane of glass. from a picture frame?
• a pile of felt. just say no to scraps.
• a bunch of old insurance documents. health care woes.

• one key. losing patience with all of the keys. shall i toss them all?
• one book. aged out.
• two chargers. they must go to something, but what?
• one pair hiking shoes. these have escaped the purge too many times.

• five mismatched utensils. knife, spoon, three forks.

• five skeins of embroidery thread. not all are created equal.

• a pack of washi tape. i'm not really sure what people use this for.
• three small tins. i always think i'm going to do something cool with these.
• a bag of paper... triangles? some crafty thing.

• three bowls. leftovers from previous set.
• one plate. ditto.
• small electric skillet. no idea where this came from.

• a tub of plumber's putty. i really don't know what this is for.
• a tiny paint roller. so small.
• a handful of tiny trees. from a craft project from christmas past.

• two skirts.
• one jacket.
• one pair of pants.
• one shirt. don't wear, don't wear, don't wear.

• one short gray skirt. too small.
• one sexy orange slip. too small.
• three more cd-r's. done with you. i hope.

• five more software and photo cds. just when you think they've all been tossed...

• one placemat. we just don't use them all.
• a bunch of small paper napkins. these are just annoying.
• two large tubes body lotion. too fruity.
• one bottle face cream. no, i'm really not ever going to start an evening skincare regime.

• three coasters. pretty, but prone to falling apart.
• one photo cd. we are fresh out of cd drives.
• one old dishtowel. surprisingly appealing despite the stains.

• six bottles of tempera paint. paint surprisingly usable considering its age. 

• a box of green paperclips. so bright.
• a box of random hardware. so useless.
• a bright pink jewelry bag. so empty.
• a flowerpot. so ugly.
• a pair of socks. so worn out.

• twelve bottles of nail polish. we're boring, i know.

• a big glass block. i made it. so i can throw it away.
• a fragment of a story i wrote. boring.
• another air conditioner remote control. i can't believe they make these.
• a small tub of body butter. which seems to have gone off.
• a key. no idea what it might unlock.

• a zylophone and its striker. this brings up precious memories, but the thing itself is not important.
• a bag of plastic knives. where are the forks?
• a stack of plastic cups. no keggers here.

• one small spray bottle. winters in oregon really don't need more moisture.
• one coffee table. back to its original home.
• one small vintage serving tray. well-liked but long hidden.
• one very cool little cardboard box. which will never be visible when i need it.
• one very cute tiny turkey. collecting dust.

• one book. sent to a friend who will like it.
• two tiny bottles. potentially useful but...
• two jackets. that nobody seems to wear.

• three books. read 'em.
• one tiny tub dental cream. no idea.
• one container body butter. ginger sparkle?

• three more shirts. i really need some new shirts.
• two more book. i really do not need any more books.

• five pieces of fabric. thou shalt not hoard.

• a bag of one hundred wooden pegs. wrong size, returned.
• three pairs of feet for metal grid panels. wrong design, returned.
• a bag of metal grid panel connectors. wrong idea, returned.
• a cordless drill. so lightweight it is not even useful, returned.
• a package of binder clips. went another direction, returned.

• two linen napkins. time to rethink our napkin situation.
• another twin sheet. where are they hiding??
• a top sheet. we don't really use these anymore.
• a sweater. it's just kind of weird.

• yet another t-shirt. i didn't realize i had this many.
• two pairs of socks. that i don't really like much.
• two pairs of underwear. as above.

• a pair of jeans i hate. what a relief.
• a t-shirt. never. going. to. wear. it.
• a pair of leggings. bequeathed to someone who will wear them.
• two more long-sleeved t shirts that no longer fit. clearly it's time to go shopping.

• one gorgeous silk scarf. i wish i thought i'd ever wear it.
• one glass vase. painful, but likely i won't remember it in a week.
• a really lovely wooden keychain. there are a lot of keychains in the world.
• one lip gloss. very sticky.
• three embroidered pins. poor color choices.

• a book of photographs. pulled the ones i wanted, recycled the rest.
• a giant supply catalog. because, the internet.
• two instructional books. for a craft i do not have time to learn right now.
• a novel from my childhood. because i can.

• five more skeins of embroidery floss. not suitable for embroidery. i know.

• one looong roll of glue dots. probably good for something, but it's not apparent to me.
• four skeins of crappy embroidery floss. good tools equal good work.

• one dishtowel. well used.
• one package pearl topped straight pins. i'll keep two.
• one tiny notebook. too small to be useful.
• one receipt book. i don't think i'll need it.
• one rubber ball. ditto.

• a sheaf of papers. elementary school reading list?
• six photographs printed on plain paper. surely these exist in a more durable form elsewhere.
• a drawing. no one's best work.
• a software cd. sneaky bugger!
• a pile of old jewelry. sent off to a fundraiser.

• the remote control for the air conditioner. honestly.
• another rock. apparently named jack.
• a pen cap thumb drive. sans pen.
• a glass mug. volunteer recognition. thanks!
• a 3d postcard featuring stonehenge. it really is cool.

• one pair of curtains. long stored, no longer desired.
• one bottle pet shampoo. no more pets.
• one tube face cream. smell is important!
• a small box with a tiny jar and miniscule post-it notes. no idea.

• a chipped mug. gotta have standards.
• a pillowcase. the number of pillow cases that find their way into this house is alarming.
• a sheet. thought i'd caught all the twin-sized bedding.
• two bottles of lic shampoo. power of positive thinking!

• an ice pack sleeve. looks complicated, if effective.
• a tiny roll of bandage/tape. losing its stickiness.
• a pumice stone. one is enough.
• two more t-shirts. i hope i am done with t-shirts for a while.

• three lovely pieces of sleepwear. nice to look at but never worn.
• one baskety thing. for organizing something. which i guess i don't own.
• one paper bowl. this has been hard to purge but it's finally going.

• one cd. not sure how this one has survived the purge.
• one tiny bottle of lotion. ditto
• one key. to someone's car...
• one nail clipper for pets. sad reminder of all the pets.
• one black christmas tree soap, covered in green glitter. creepy.

• a paper rainbow hanging decoration. cute.
• a pocket mirror. without a pocket.
• a small plush toy. uninvited guest.
• a "splat ball". shudder.
• a small stack of temporary tattoos. adorable!

• one curtain rod. too short and ugly.
• another curtain rod. which i meant to fix eight years ago.
• two pamphlets from a previous job. goodbye and good luck.
• paperwork from a long ago fmla leave. who cares?

• one small skateboarding helmet. that was a fun phase.
• three t-shirts. if they didn't get worn all summer...
• one poster. i still love you, barak obama.

• an ugly art project. it happens.
• a leopard-print change purse. ???
• a portable dvd player. ancient technology!
• a cell phone external charger. whatever.
• a set of glasses. a gift that has been hard to let go of.

• a pair of beloved crocs. even gardening shoes reach a point of no return.
• a clock. it's been showing the wrong time for at least two weeks, so apparently i don't really use it.
• seven bottles of nail polish. an obsession comes to an end.

• one graphic novel. it's zeus!
• one tube of lip gloss. extremely pink.
• one glue pen. which seems like one iteration too many.
• a neti pot. such a great idea. but no.
• one dishtowel? cleaning cloth? with a lovely tree motif.

• a small piece of the car. which no longer fits.
• a vacuum attachment. which is just plain dumb.
• a tablecloth. never quite clean enough.
• a pile of small day of the dead paper plates. cake, please.
• a stack of birthday paper plates. still no cake.

• twenty paper grocery bags. not sure how this keeps happening.

• three packages of fancy paper napkins. as if.
• one pillow case. old, old, old.
• one small calendar. a formerly nice way to include art in one's day.

• eight books. traded for three new ones. still a net loss.

• five wire hangers. curse you, wire hangers!

one gorgeous glass bowl. with one enormous chip.
a pair of child's leggings. inexplicably living in my drawer.
one giant binder. which will likely have to be replaced sometime soon.
a pair of shower gloves. which make me shudder ever time i see them.
a small mirror. enough reflection, already.

• one cannibalized stair-stepper. squeaky, no stats.
• one tiny trash can. inconvenient and surprisingly noisy.
• three bikini bottoms. teenager.

eight single socks. sigh.

• at least a hundred emails. hooray!

• two hairbrushes. of seven???
• one pad post-it notes. so limiting, those tiny squares.
• one bottle of supplemental amino acids. so many supplements. still tired.
• one pocket calendar. still not used halfway through the year.

• one old toilet brush. *shudder*
• three fitted sheets. twin beds are a thing of the past!
• one rock. yes, another one.

• one more piece of muddy tupperware. no more plastic containers.
• two bottles of dried up tempera paint. living in the garage for some reason.
• some very pink ribbon. ghastly.
• most of an outdoor solar light. the rest is likely under ground by now.

• five artists' business cards. sorry paper, digital connection is the law of the land.

one can of the finally dried up remains of that ugly pink paint. in the end everyone hated it.
one can of rust-infused ceiling paint. because ceilings are the worst.
the pot that caught fire. good memories but yuck.
two composite flower pots. hope someone wants them because they may exist for a thousand years.

• a mug. beloved, and one of a pair. seems cruel to separate them, but then there is the chip.
• several batteries. apparently they lose their juice simply sitting on a shelf. slackers.

• a jar of hair...stuff. must have used it once upon a time.
• six oddly-shaped post-it pads. i live in a post-post-it world.

• one cloth shopping bag. less durable than the paper ones, which kind of makes you mad.
• one green glass. my fave. an accidental divestment.
• faith in humanity. fortunately this is a renewable resource.
• one glass pitcher. lovely and unused.
• an eyeglass case. these seem to be breeding in my drawers.

• three jars. if there is nothing in them, i fail to see their purpose.
• two small flashlights. there is a point at which fixing things seems more trouble than it's worth.

• one pair of slippers. too well used, and too unsightly for further use.
• all the plastic plates and bowls. did i learn nothing from montessori?
• a key that fits no locks. somewhere a door is permanently closed.
• two throw pillows. the name says it all.

• one more green plastic cup. a terrible shade of green.
• one bar stinky soap. not in my shower...
• three makeup sticks. eyes? lips? brows? i'm not good at makeup.