• one small spray bottle. winters in oregon really don't need more moisture.
• one coffee table. back to its original home.
• one small vintage serving tray. well-liked but long hidden.
• one very cool little cardboard box. which will never be visible when i need it.
• one very cute tiny turkey. collecting dust.

• a paper rainbow hanging decoration. cute.
• a pocket mirror. without a pocket.
• a small plush toy. uninvited guest.
• a "splat ball". shudder.
• a small stack of temporary tattoos. adorable!

• a lovely handmade photo album and a package of paper corners. i am amused that this once seemed like a project i might embark upon.
• a cabinet knob. undoubtedly intended for my sister.
• an eyeglass repair kit. how could i repair my glasses while not wearing my glasses?
• a christmas ornament. i need a house with higher ceilings.
• a scrunchy with lots of beads. hair ornament? bracelet?

• a pair of sunglasses. surprisingly effective, but one of possibly eight pairs in this house.
• small pink hippo. when did we become a household overrun with stuffed animals?
• the small bag that holds a fold-up umbrella. I am quite sure the umbrella will never fit back inside.
• a calculator. still in packaging. why does a calculator need packaging?
• a glass coaster/window ornament. made by me.                

• a bag of ikea hardware. slightly worrisome when there are leftover screws.
• an origami crane. clearly replaceable.
• a strip of black fabric. possibly a witch costume remnant.
• a pair of black socks. the only uncomfortable black socks from a curated collection. also the only ones not stolen by my progeny.
• a large bunch of dried oregano. oregano is sadly underrepresented in our diet.

• one metal trash can. i admit it. i like the plastic one better.
• one wool hat. tragically felted.
• two strings battery-operated christmas lights. unused for years.
• one lunch bag. freebies just aren't that great.

• a small table. waterlogged and finally done.
• an earth-shaped and decorated photo clip. not as complicated as it sounds.
• the pieces of a pencil sharpener. once torn asunder, never to be reunited.
• a tiny rubber whale. ugh, not even worth donating to anyone.
• a tiny notebook. like spilled rice, there is always one more.

• a light fixture. after wandering the house, searching for a place to mount it.
• a pair of hinges. heavy, i don't remember what they were for.
• two mid-century sugar bowls. there is a collector in me.
• a yellow magnet. i hate that magnet.

• a lovely green shirt. i can't figure out why i don't wear it.
• a sock puppet. when my children don't want things they have made, they give them to me. tricky.
• two cds. hiding in an undisclosed location.
• a tiny christmas tree made of meltable plastic beads. sorry, ocean.

• a sponge. which purports to remove dog hair from upholstery, but does not.
• a bottle of sunscreen. apparently even if it is unopened it only lasts for a year. lame.
• a tube of lotion. which does not absorb.
• a small glass tile. extremely beautiful, totally useless.
• a picture frame. too ugly to keep.

• three childrens' books. regifted.
• two ornaments. not christmasy, what are they for?
• one small piece of kid art. we have better specimens.
• a pile of little hangers. our clothing is no longer quite that small.

• a jacket. i let them talk me into white. should have bought the brown one.
• a gigantic pair of glass earrings. where did these come from?
• a small wall hanging. love it. it sits in a closet.
• a pedicure set. hahaha.
• a large pink pillow. no one is motivated to sew it up.

• one shower curtain rod. two showers, three rods.
• one string christmas lights. ugly.
• one can primer. i'm pretty sure i'm allergic to this kind.
• one heavy-duty extension cord. i know these are really useful, but do i need four?
• two packages of mailing labels.

• a broom. i have two outdoor/garage brooms.
• a wooden stool. everyone here is tall enough to reach the sink now.
• a world map. not looked at in ages.
• six small flowerpots. likely there are many more.

• five plastic cups. death to plastic cups!
• a dress-up dress. sorry, amy - already spoken for.
• neon pink platform shoes. for oscar.
• a poster. trashed.

• a plastic syringe. we prefer salami as a medication delivery device.
• a thin black webbing strap. hmmm.
• a small heart ornament. for a tree? a present?
• a necklace. i will never wear it.
• an ipod charging cord. we must have at least four.
• four plastic cups. inadvertently stolen from the bowling alley. oops.

• two small wall hangings someone made for me. they were lovely.
• one tiny purse. it is the most beautiful little purse i have ever seen.
• a long-sleeved hooded t-shirt. i wore it every other day last year.
• a broken bowl. my daughter broke it. she wanted to keep it. i hope she forgets about it.
• three pieces of chalk. the blackboard kind. we only use the sidewalk kind.
• the half bar of soap that lived on the kitchen sink. i hated that soap.