• the need to throw away five things every day. there is still some extraneous stuff, but not enough to warrant daily purging.

• one rear windshield. pretty suddenly.
• one rock. gifted, not discarded.
• five rubber whales. but just very little ones.

• one t-shirt. handed down to me and worn perhaps too long.
• one nightshirt. also inherited and worn until in tatters, not long enough.
• a quantity of bits and pieces from my ten-year-old's room. i get the credit because i did all the work.

• two more little notebooks.
• another ball.
• another rock.
• another magnifying glass. repetition is the soul of success, in this endeavor.

• a brown t-shirt. now torn into rags, so maybe not technically thrown away.
• two magnifying glasses. not to worry, there are more.
• another sticky note pad. with less than effective magnetic backing.
• a roll of adding machine tape. yes.

• five more books. i may not ever get rid of another bookcase, but at least the books will not remain unread.

• five novelty post-it pads. no idea...

• books. of course. how can a household be so messy when constantly reduced?

• a small table. waterlogged and finally done.
• an earth-shaped and decorated photo clip. not as complicated as it sounds.
• the pieces of a pencil sharpener. once torn asunder, never to be reunited.
• a tiny rubber whale. ugh, not even worth donating to anyone.
• a tiny notebook. like spilled rice, there is always one more.

• a bunch of plumbing parts. including that faucet that has been dripping for years.

• four pieces of jewelry and the box they lived in. i still don't wear jewelry.

• three flower pots. goodness, i have a lot of flower pots.
• two flower pot saucers. i only really use them outside...

• five more books. apparently this category will just be ongoing.

• a bowl.
• a clock.
• a temporary tattoo.
• an eraser.
• an ipod docking station accessory. all of these on behalf of my 13 yer old, who gives me things that she doesn't want to throw away herself.

• three pillowcases, two sheets. wear out, already!

• hair product. smells delicious. the two times a year i open it.
• pumpkin seeds. oops, growing season is over.
• bathing cap. so pink. so tight.
• three large spools of thread. useful for that project, twelve years ago.

• a bar of soap. you'd think high-end hotels would have nice-smelling soap.
• a mattress cover. extra.
• a rock. found in the dryer.
• two books. no more books than shelf space allows.

• a light fixture. after wandering the house, searching for a place to mount it.
• a pair of hinges. heavy, i don't remember what they were for.
• two mid-century sugar bowls. there is a collector in me.
• a yellow magnet. i hate that magnet.

• five more kid's books. i even consulted the kids this time.

• a metal plate. for an electrical project, perhaps?
• a coloring book. eric carle, a good one.
• a potato baking sack. surprisingly useful, though underused.
• a metal staple. doesn't seem useful, all by itself.
• a small white rock. they slip in at the open windows, in pants pockets, in palms no one is paying attention to.

• three pairs of hinges. previous generation, i'm sure they've all been replaced.
• a handful of various hardware. it's only useful if you use it.

• one allen wrench. so many allen wrenches in the world, many of them in my basement.
• two pieces of hardware. one looks useful, one not.
• three batteries. stashed in the bottom of an almost-empty box.

• storage bins: one complete, two topless bottoms, three bottomless tops. implying that there used to be a ridiculous number of storage bins in this house.
• another tiny notebook. they are so potentially, but not actually, handy.

• a bag of white tiles. waiting to re-remodel?

• one tube of lipstick. i love lipstick. i do not really wear it.
• one hand towel. color bias - it is purple, the others are not.
• one tupperware bowl. still no lid.
• one pair of glasses. worse than useless, as they almost allow me to read.
• one purse. adored last summer. it has lost its appeal.

• a pile of vinyl stickers. yeah, i don't know either.

• a pile of stationery. tiresome even to sort through it.

everything must go. the movie. a reminder that raymond chandler was a genius, will farrell is underrated but fabulous in dramatic roles, and getting rid of your stuff helps.

• three very small notebooks. these are ridiculously hard to throw away.
• a little pile of scrap paper. even more ridiculous to keep these.
• one eyeglasses case. probably have glasses to recycle, too.

• two folding chairs. requested by their long-ago owner just as i was wondering what to do with them.
• two large glass marbles. such nice things, marbles.
• one container of jewelry-making supplies. a historical pursuit.

• a pack of crayons. there must be billions of crayons in the world. billions.
• a big stack of cardboard picture frames. school pictures come in these. silly, and bulky.
• a few school pictures. doubles, triples, quadruples. because who ever gets around to distributing them?

• six coat hooks. which may look lovely in someone else's hallway.

• one package antihistamines. don't work for asthma.
• one tiny bar of soap. stinky.
• one tiny bottle of lotion. same.
• one bottle calamine lotion. kept mainly for the nostalgic lou reed reference.
• one bottle cough syrup. the effective stuff makes me high, the stuff that doesn't make me high is ineffective. a losing situation.

• a dozen little kids' books. including five for our new favorite baby.

• four mice, one owl, five penguins. there is a toy chest in my house which may soon be on the curb.

• five shirts.
• one sweater.
• one pair of pants. i guess i really do wear the same thing nearly every day.

• two stuffed animals. arguably not mine to throw away.
• one microfiber glass cleaning cloth. still in packaging.
• 2009-10 school directory. obvious toss.
• one glue stick. too sticky on the outside, where it is not helpful.

• five incredibly gorgeous sherry glasses, given to me by my mother. which have sat in a cupboard for... ever.

• two large pieces of drywall. chopped up and disposed of month by month, now gone.
• a hat. hideous.
• a cd. so much software. isn't it all available online?
• a plastic and metal plug-ish thing. definitely an electronic gadget. maybe.

• a whole pile of papers. maybe i can lose the filing cabinet?
• a software cd. never opened.

• a pint of blood. well, donated more than discarded.
• four hours on the couch recovering from losing all that blood. more of a weenie than i realized.

• five more picture books. didn't realize there were so many.

• a bunch of roller skating/skateboarding elbow and knee pads. tossed the girly flowered ones, kept the serious boarding set.

• a cloth wine bag. for carrying a half dozen bottles. one of two.
• two advertising refrigerator magnets. one for the vet, one for a medical clinic.
• a sarong-like piece of fabric. purchased in kenya, much the worse for wear.
• a spool of not quite ribbon, not quite string. annoyingly in between.

• worry. about the house, the yard, the laundry, the errands and the job. we are on vacation.

• a rock. yellow, glass.
• a green scarf. finger-knitted.
• a blue beaded scarf decoration thingy. super cool, languishing on a distant shelf.
• a plastic flower pot. surely they are all gone now.
• an outdoor solar globe. maybe left too much in the weather.

• ten picture books. long unread, unwieldy.

• an outlet box. blue, plastic... i wouldn't know what to do with it.
• a plastic shovel. we use more sophisticated digging devices.
• a stack of pink index cards. mysteriously numbered in sharpie.
• a lone votive candle. enough candles, already.
• a paint can opener. the other one.

• two socks. mismatched.
• two pieces of tupperware. also mismatched.
• two pairs underwear. just old.

• two towels. if the kids think we have too many, we have too many.
• one bath mat. i want to toss it every time i put it on the floor.
• a stack of origami paper. frustratingly small.
• another meltable bead artwork. thanks, ikea.

• a black tank top. and then there was one.
• a foot stool. the kids like it. wonder if they will notice.
• two blues festival t-shirts. they do pile up.
• a small garbage can. lately the source of dog food.
• the dog food that was in it. ant-ridden.

• a black shirt. the last day i wore it was exceptionally good, and exceptionally bad.
• a halloween costume. with lots of fake blood.
• a washcloth. with lots of fake blood.
• a retainer. ugh.
• party favor detritus. finally.

• a pile of leftover tiles. too ugly to replace, even if one should break.

• a lovely green shirt. i can't figure out why i don't wear it.
• a sock puppet. when my children don't want things they have made, they give them to me. tricky.
• two cds. hiding in an undisclosed location.
• a tiny christmas tree made of meltable plastic beads. sorry, ocean.

• rewards card.
• rolodex cards.
• check carbons.
• printed email.
• business card. paperless household soon?

• a book of postcards. neither sent nor mounted.
• a box of stationery. ridiculously hard to discard.
• an envelope of thank you notes from the little girls i shared a cabin with at omsi camp. montessori teaches good manners.
• a handful of expired membership cards. replaced or invalid.
• several expired coupons. really good ones.

• one hose nozzle. exploded on impact.
• two dresses. lovely.
• one printer manual. it's gone.
• one software manual. no longer in use.
• one ipod manual. even i know how to operate an ipod.

• five more children's books. amazingly there are still more of them.

• five plastic flower pots. why are there so many plastic flower pots in the world? and how have so many of them ended up in my garage?

• a dog bed.
• a dog blanket. there is still a lot of fur.
• two large plastic tubs. been in a closet for years.
• one small rug. one of three.

• a sponge. my thirteen year old is getting in on the action.
• a book. started it, didn't like it.
• a rug. that's been airing outside for about a year.
• a magnetic toy. that's lost most of its parts.
• a tube of plastic wood. huh?

• two dog bowls. no more clanking of tags on metal.
  a small piece of art. pretty.
• scrap paper. i don't want to make that many lists.
• a cd case. i might go live in the cloud.
• a chinese yo-yo. fun for about two minutes.

• a curtain hook thingy. an extra.
• a mostly-empty tube of toothpaste. colgate, yuck.
• a picture frame. ugly!
• stickers. ubiquitous.
• address pages for... something.

• one skirt. pretty but unflattering.
• one filter thingy for a fish tank. no fish.
• one red plastic tape dispenser. oddly beautiful, but empty.
• one ceramic pie plate. formerly a receptacle for pet supplies.
• one watch. needs a battery.

• three leashes.
• one dog brush.
• an assortment of flea medication. boo.

• a tank top. two rust-colored tank tops?
• four dog bones. ouch.

• a tennis ball. where do these come from?
• three large plastic tupperware bowls. no lids.
• a large metal bowl. one of three.

• a piece of kid art. nice, but...
• a golf ball. ubiquitous.
• a strainer. one plus a colander should be plenty.
• a bag of tea. yuck.
• a sunglasses tether. uncomfortable.

• beads. lots of beads. don't know how they've escaped purging until now.

• two nit combs. i know, sorry.
• one breathing measurement device. if it's that bad, i'm on my way to the e.r.
• mini bar of soap. only the bad-smelling one.
• bath salts. ditto.

• a big pile of papers. they seem important until i look at them.

• five more books. the shelves have reached stasis; books flow in as fast as i give them away.

• one bag of zip ties. lest the children get ideas.
• one bag of copper tube straps. almost worth keeping for the name.
• a dozen or so small spools of thread. one spool of thread will last me the next twenty years.

• a softball gear bag. 

containing:

• one glove.
• one bat.
• one helmet.
• one hat.

thankfully we are sticking with soccer.

• a serving bowl. a gift, not my style.
• a handful of hoop earrings. mismatched. and oh yeah, i don't wear earrings.

• a pair of rain measurement cups. for tracie
• a jump rope. one of three.
• a frisbee. one of three.
• a hose sprayer nozzle. one of three.
• a golf ball. one of a thousand.

• two chargers. for a blue tooth i lost.
• one outlet multiplier. with one too many prongs.
• a pile of socks. whose mates will probably appear, finally, next week.

• a bottle of bug repellent. two should be adequate.
• a baseball. starting to split.
• a tube of lipstick. i love lipstick. i rarely wear it.
• a brow definer. i'm not really clear on how to use this.
• a bottle opener. no bottle in this house is in danger of staying closed.

• a lunch bag. worn the heck out, we like lunch.
• a baby nail clipper. take an hour to cut one human-sized nail.
• a pair of clip-on sunglasses. very useful.
• a glasses case. these are available as a set.
• a novel. which i disliked. it has a title similar to a novel that i liked, allowing it to dodge the discard pile for months.

• three bouncy balls. ubiquitous and generally bouncing at a bad time, in the wrong place.
• one dolphin-shaped water gun. cutesy and leaky. bad combo.
• one candle in a jar. smoky.

• two river rocks. smooth and lovely.
• one roll of transfer tape. which is useful only if you are working with vinyl stickers.
• two pages of stickers. for a ski helmet. which clearly needs decorating.

• a sponge. which purports to remove dog hair from upholstery, but does not.
• a bottle of sunscreen. apparently even if it is unopened it only lasts for a year. lame.
• a tube of lotion. which does not absorb.
• a small glass tile. extremely beautiful, totally useless.
• a picture frame. too ugly to keep.

• five more childrens' books. time to buy tweener books.

• two switch plate covers. they hide, or reproduce.
• one device that turns one outlet into three. i have a lot of outlets already.
• one earplug. not useful.
• one fabric bracelet. a very early sewing project by one child or another.

• three aluminum cups. for gina.
• one small piece of art. no place for it.
• a sheet of address labels. there will always be too many.
• seven single socks. i feel sure the pairs will suddenly appear.

• an old volleyball. deflated and threadbare.
• a single work glove. left hand at that.
• a pair of slippers. so cozy. so covered in dog hair.
• a plastic flower pot. u.g.l.y.
• a super cool satchel. rainbow striped and unused.

• helped my 10 year old clean up her room. dozens of things thrown away.

• five children's books. old books are musty.

• two pillowcases. i can see the stripes on the pillow through the cases. not good.
• one roll of quadruple-wide masking tape. not sure where that came from.
• a brush. which has lost its dustpan.
• a bag of hardware for a set of blinds. which i have already thrown away.

• a gorgeous blue shirt. refuses to look good on me.
• a plastic syringe. crafts, not drugs.
• a wire inbox. not at home.
• two switch plate covers. maybe that's the end of them.

• one painting of a rooster. broke it as soon as i finally decided to get rid of it.
• one plastic flower pot. thanks, burgerville.
• one sprayer hose nozzle. still have two.
• a package of various sized and shaped spouts for bottles. i think this may have lived in the garage when i moved in.
• a plastic hook rack. no.

• thirty-two cds.
• five cassette tapes.
• one pair of slippers.
• one beaded bracelet.
• one tiny hand-made pillow.
• one wooden box.
• one bed canopy.
• twenty-five magazines.
• one pair of pajamas.
• one pair of pajama pants.

i am so happy to be done with this stuff.

• five more books. that shelf is getting so close to empty.

• one paint tray. used. 
• one paint stirrer. also used.
• one large, thick, slightly jagged sheet of glass. um...?
• one yellow flowered bowl. the last one.
• one soup pot. i really really don't need two.

• a bottle of cheap lotion. never buy the cheap lotion.
• a bottle of cheap shampoo. never buy the cheap shampoo.
• a cool pin. that i do not wear.
• a bra. workhorse no more.
• five spent markers. we have a lot of writing utensils in this house.

• three childrens' books. regifted.
• two ornaments. not christmasy, what are they for?
• one small piece of kid art. we have better specimens.
• a pile of little hangers. our clothing is no longer quite that small.

• one hinge. what good is one hinge?
• one bar of hotel soap. only save the ones that smell good.
• one tiny plastic fork. from a fabulous kid's picnic set, long gone.
• one travel mug. i drink coffee at home.
• eight champagne corks and two not-cork corks. none are suitable for cork board building.

• five books. one was a memoir i didn't want to read which has now been proven to be at least partially made-up. vindicated.

• two keys. which do not fit any of my four exterior doors.
• one bottle of sunscreen. still skeptical about the one-year expiration hue and cry.
• a wok-with-a-handle. came with the house.
• a bolo tie. despite the gorgeous piece of jasper on the clasp.

• five small flower pots.
• three saucers for underneath those pots. will anyone take them from my curb?

• one empty round burt's bees tin. i have searched for a reason to keep this.
• one small glass stone. nice to touch.
• one giant glass pickle jar. seemed like i would use it for something.
• two painted glasses. prototypes.

• a bag of flour. maybe? unlabeled.
• a bag of cornmeal.
• two tubes of cake decorating gel.
• a box of pectin.
• a tin of breadcrumbs. god i hate baking.

• five pieces of hardware. does it count as hardware if it's made of plastic?
• one glue stick. dryish.

• a dozen bottles, cans and buckets of hazardous stuff. off to the dump!
• a bag of batteries. same place.
• an empty camping fuel bottle. will take a stronger hand than mine, the cap won't budge.

• two crab nets. no little crabs here.
• one outlet multiplier. a blown circuit waiting to happen.
• an old art project. and with it, the bad feeling about not finishing it.
• a falling-apart book. my daughter the saver will never miss it.

• ten cds. taking advantage of a moment of ruthlessness.

• a bundle of crayons. we don't seem to use crayons anymore.
• a felt bracelet. made for me by one of my children.
• a bag of gluten-free hot cereal. now i don't have to feel guilty about not eating it.
• a plastic checkbook cover. i rarely write checks.
• a three-sided rule. pretty useful, but we have a prettier one.

• a dvd. that perhaps i was intended to value more than i do.
• a pencil. i find at least one pencil on the floor of my house every. single. day.
• a lovely book. just because the author signed it does not mean i have to own it.
• a piece of kid art. with the permission of the kid.
• a jigsaw puzzle. more fun in a cabin.

• a piece of cable. the kind that connects the tv to, um, the stratosphere?
• a vent elbow.
• four vent clamps. they look so useful. and yet...

• three notebooks. no longer tripping over them.
• dozens of pagers of stickers. why does it seem wrong to throw stickers away?

• a folder. beige. too ugly to use.
• three receipt books. hand writing receipts used to be easier than creating them on the computer.
• several calendar pages. part of an old art project.
• a plastic squeeze bottle. a one-time applicator of adhesive.
• headset for a phone i no longer own. that box is now almost empty.

• a whole pile of plastic flower pots. recyclable?

• a jacket. i let them talk me into white. should have bought the brown one.
• a gigantic pair of glass earrings. where did these come from?
• a small wall hanging. love it. it sits in a closet.
• a pedicure set. hahaha.
• a large pink pillow. no one is motivated to sew it up.

• one sweater. things i love.
• one pair of shoes. things i paid money for.
• one sweatshirt. things i wish i wore
• one skirt. things i do not use.
• one bra. this one, at least, i can return.

• one shower curtain rod. two showers, three rods.
• one string christmas lights. ugly.
• one can primer. i'm pretty sure i'm allergic to this kind.
• one heavy-duty extension cord. i know these are really useful, but do i need four?
• two packages of mailing labels.

• five giant books. feels like i just lost ten pounds.

• five shirts. and i thought i'd gotten rid of all i the ones i don't need.

• a broom. i have two outdoor/garage brooms.
• a wooden stool. everyone here is tall enough to reach the sink now.
• a world map. not looked at in ages.
• six small flowerpots. likely there are many more.

• five books. i am never going to read/reread these.

• three hats. bada-bing...
• three scarves. bada-boom.

• a pile of hanging folders. hoping to need fewer, not more.
• a stuffed monkey. no one will notice.
• an old book. unread and very musty.
• a bottle of nutritional supplements. which i will never use no matter how long i keep them.
• a nail clipper for dogs. i will never be brave enough to use it.

• five cans of paint. what's the expiration date on paint?
• one sander. for smoothing out drywall seams. which i will never do again!

• one bottle ophthalmic suppressant drops. canine, i think.
• one bottle cilantro tincture. i have no idea what that might be used for.
• one pair cheap sunglasses. very cute, too scratched up to see through.
• one switch plate cover. i know there are more...
• one children's book. almost done with the never-going-to-reads.

• three light bulbs. an odd size. i don't think i have fixtures that fit them any longer.
• seven canning jars. perhaps someone would like to fill them with jam and pickles and return them?
• a large plastic container. which contains nothing.

• five cds. for some reason these are hard to get rid of.
• one bra. the most expensive one i have ever owned.

• five more clear glass pitchers. and maybe that's the last of them?

• two sweaters. past favorites, i got them both second hand, they are stretched out, unflattering, not exactly the image i want to present to the world.
• a stack of note cards. i have enough to last me two lifetimes, will keep the ones i like.
• a tape dispenser. that i can't see to open.
• a lavender-filled eye pillow. i seem to have two.

• five cds.
• and a meat thermometer. done for another day.

• a vegetable steamer. doesn't seem to fit any of my pots.
• a dishcloth. with a hole burned into (out of?) it.
• a pyrex bread pan. i have two, which is odd for someone who bakes once a year.
• a box of inkjet transparencies. does anyone use these anymore?
• a box of printable postcards. i do not use these anymore.

• two cans of spray-on window frosting. texture, not icing.
• one yellow nylon strap. i keep convincing myself it will be useful at some point.
• one bag of hardware for a set of blinds. which i have already gotten rid of.
• one string line. there are no fence building projects in my immediate future.

• five more children's books. they date from before my own childhood. not so interesting to 21st century kids.

turns out one thing you can still do when you are sick is throw stuff away.

• one pair of boots. beautiful but done with them.
• two gorgeous purses. sadly impractical.
• two packages of mailing labels. didn't even know i had them.

• a three-drawer organizer. less stuff to organize.
• a storage box from ikea. empty!
• an over-the-door mesh organizer. don't need it.
• a set of colorforms. 
• a hieroglyph kit.

• one unused bag of tea. a gift that meant a lot to me.
• one printer. painfully disposable.
• one package of printable postcards. left over from the business now closed.
• one box of floor tiles. if the ones in the kitchen start breaking, it will be a great excuse to redo the ugly floor.
• one more notebook. a la talking heads. without the burning.

• one regulation dart board. the dart-playing boyfriend is long gone.
• one broom. i only need one.
• one clipboard. i only need one.
• one witch hat. i only need one
• one receipt book. i don't need even one.

• eight books. i keep thinking that i don't really own that many books. soon this may be true.

• three notebooks. we are drowning in notebooks.
• two candles. no longer drowning in candles.

• one large stump. thought i would have to call for the grinder, but all that rain made it easy to pull out.
• four underthings. so pretty. so uncomfortable.

• five books.
• five cds.
• a bag of random ikea hardware.
• a bag of glass stones.

• one small bottle of hand sanitizer. i believe in germs.
• one lumbar support device. i hope that by the time i need it again the technology has improved.
• one wrist splint. i hope never to need that again.
• one necklace. i can no longer remember where it came from, so it no longer has even sentimental value.
• one more plastic hourglass. one more than we need.

• a tube of sunscreen. way past it's usefulness date.
• one more green plastic cup.
• another lovely picture by a child. awkward shape to store.
• a tube of some sort of cosmetic. unloved
• another pair of socks. much loved, but with holes.

• five cds. somehow hard to get rid of, even though i rarely think about them.

• a rocking pink accordion file. it will help keep someone stylishly organized.
• a too-soft basketball. also seems fuzzy. is this normal?
• a bottle of febreze. which did not, in the end, help eliminate the odor of mildew in the car.
• my favorite beautiful butter dish. which is chipped. tragically, we no longer eat butter.
• a spool of bright green thread.

• a blue shirt. gifted to me, never worn.
• four books. my favorite get-rid-of item.

• a small kitchen table. i'm going to get into trouble for this one.
• my favorite pair of wool socks. sporting very large holes.
• hair detangler. they're either going to brush, or not.
• two switchplate covers. insidious!

• a whole ton of books. incuding a series of kids' books originally published over a hundred years ago. those would be really cool in someone else's house.

• bath gunk. we like the powder kind.
• cool metal case that housed corporate gift pen/zip drive. which has since moved out.
• walkman. remember those?
• two relaxation tapes. which don't seem to have worked.
• a pillow. we seem to have a lot of pillows.

• five plastic cups. death to plastic cups!
• a dress-up dress. sorry, amy - already spoken for.
• neon pink platform shoes. for oscar.
• a poster. trashed.

• a plastic syringe. we prefer salami as a medication delivery device.
• a thin black webbing strap. hmmm.
• a small heart ornament. for a tree? a present?
• a necklace. i will never wear it.
• an ipod charging cord. we must have at least four.
• four plastic cups. inadvertently stolen from the bowling alley. oops.

• two more sets of vinyl blinds. u.g.l.y.
• one more clear glass vase.
• one saucepan. trading in the old ones.
• one doormat. too small to really help in an oregon spring.Show all

• three candles. it is silly to force yourself to use something just because it is useful.
• one serving tray. love it, don't use it.
• one gorgeous shirt. wore it once, the day i bought it.

• ten more children's books. determined to get rid of one bookcase.

• two more oddly sized little candles. ikea, metric system.
• a plastic lizard. shh, don't tell.
• a couple of pieces of cool green foil paper. had that now for how many years?
• another swiffer. i had two?

• one piece of kid art. with the permission of the artist.
• two candle lanterns. maybe never used.
• two bowls. enough with the mismatched bowls and glasses.

• a small blanket. with a largish hole.
• two t-shirts. where do they all come from?
• a lovely box a boy made for me twenty years ago. ill-fitting top, sits in the closet.
• a wooden stamp. a gift, i assume.

• a so-so jacket. easy come, easy go.
• a glass votive holder, plus candle. two for one.
• a big bag of marbles. been meaning to get rid of those for years.
• two books. i may not need all those bookcases after all.

• one fabulous pair of boots. they fit someone else better.
• one jacket. eh.
• one package incense. seriously.
• two ipod docking thingies. they go with equipment we no longer own.

• two pairs of cleats. now we are down to four pairs, for two children.
• a beautiful pair of boots. just not me.
• two headbands. just when i think i've thrown them all away.

• workout clothing:
• one pair of pants
• one pair of shorts
• three t-shirts. i don't exercise that much.

• hope that my dog is still enjoying great quality of life, and thus will be around for a long time to come. that's enough for one day.

• a pair of sunglasses. i can get by with only two pairs of eight dollar sunglasses.
• a jacket. haven't worn it in a while; i used to like it?
• five children's books. leaving the sentimental favorites for last.

• four pairs of earrings. i haven't worn earrings in ten years.
• one ring. too big.

• one piece of hardware. used in conjunction with a machine i gave away four years ago.
• another piece of hardware. unidentifiable.
• three more childrens' books. easier to do a few at a time.

• a jar that holds the end of a candle. not good for much else.
• an old bottle of vitamin D drops. ineffective.
• a roll of drywall tape. it is my goal never to hang drywall again.
• a swiffer mop. unused since i moved in.
• a package of rubber gloves. no wonder my hands are so trashed.

• eight tired, faded, stained napkins. time to buy new ones.

• shirty/jackety garment. doesn't fit beautifully.
• bell without a clapper. super cool-looking, but then, so many things are.
• crappy little picture frame. i had no idea there were so many of them here.
• art project. many years abandoned, not cool enough to resuscitate.
• phone or camera or something or other charger. they multiply.

• one piece of driftwood. once a part of a kid's sculpture.
• one string of plastic beads. shh, don't tell.
• two pillowcases. almost there...
• one steamer. i have another, newer, prettier one. 
• one super crappy squirt gun.

• an electric stapler. scary.
• a handheld sewing machine. cool, but never used.
• a device for making a single outlet into a triple outlet. one of three.
• a tool for painting trim. paint waster.
• a pump for an air mattress. what air mattress?

• one credit card account. unused.
• perfume samples. blech.
• three more little kid books. they got a lot of use here.

• three clip frames from Ikea. too cheap to be any good.
• a bag of glass and fabric paints. for gina's craft exchange.
• a chunk of cable from the bedroom closet. waiting for wireless.

• four glass vases.
• one drinking glass. soon i will be able to justify buying glassware that matches.

• one pair of shoes. beautiful but uncomfortable.
• one skirt. pretty but uncomfortable.
• two dr. seuss books. someone should be reading them.
• one tom robbins book. ditto.

• two sets of cork board tile. which apparently are sold without adhesive.
• one telephone, two handsets. death to landlines.
• one jacket. unworn.
• one picture frame. hideous.
• one iron. how is it that someone who irons once a year has two irons?

• a piece of dryer vent. i seem to have a lot of it.
• a bottle of grout and tile sealer. 
• a ruined paintbrush. which i have been keeping?
• two lacy underthings i keep thinking will be just right under... something.

• a broken ihome. there may be a replacement part out there, but i'm obviously never going to get it.
• a rubber ducky. done with bath toys.
• a chalkboard eraser. chalkboard?
• a tooth. maybe once belonged to a horse?
• a watch. the numbers are too small to read without glasses.

• one pair of shoes. inherited, not worn.
• four books. one for grownups, three for kids.
• one plastic toyish thing found by my daughter... somewhere. is it a fish? 

• another lovely purse.
• a mosaic votive kit. complete with moldy box, from sitting in my once dry, now damp garage.
• a set of votive lanterns. there are altogether too many outdoor lighting options here, most of which i've never used.
•  a lovely scarf i will never wear.
• a lovely shirt i don't seem to wear anymore

• a portable radio/cd player. doesn't get npr in the bathroom.
• a super-cute black sweater. why have i never worn it?
• an ugly picture frame. that picture deserves better.
• two beautiful indian silk wraparound shirts. 20 years late.

• six placemats. that have seen better days.

• one completely worn-out bra. nice to get your money's worth.
• one completely worn-out purse. ditto.
• one pair of tweezers, pink. prettier but less effective than the black ones.
• five clear glass vases. about time i got rid of that inventory.
• ten children's books. going to good homes.

• one switch plate cover. they are starting to rise to the surface like dead fish.
• one can of pepper spray with accompanying leather holster. i will never have the presence of mind to use this should the need arise.
• the pieces to a lock and knob set, minus the doorknobs themselves. hmmmm.
• a bottle of castor oil. i was too scared to use it.

• five children's books. just the beginning.
• all the pens in the house that no longer work. i still have two jars of pens and four of pencils.
• one three-drawer plastic organizer.
• one beautiful shirt.

• three votive holders. if i use my entire inventory simultaneously, i may burn down the house.
• one votive candle. weird shape, doesn't fit.
• one package of photo paper for the printer. some day i will take pictures...

• a glass ice bucket. i really want to use an ice bucket this year.
• a piece of a wooden puzzle. somewhere there is a train missing its caboose.
• a set of twelve powdered pigments. i am so glad my kids never found this.
• a package of red pom-poms. seems like an unlikely purchase, but here they are.
• a package of trading card binder pages. really?

• five children's books. originally published in:
• 1940
• 1963
• 1926
• 1939
• 1985

• a pair of shoelaces. still in the package.
• a pair of towel rods. taken out of my bathroom one and a half years ago.
• a light fixture from the same bathroom.
• all of the hardware from the cupboards and drawers in that same small bathroom.
• an unused switch plate. i think there may be a lot of them knocking around.

• one piece of orange-painted metal. i've accepted that i am not going to figure out what it was once a part of.
• one almost-empty tub of hardened joint compound.
• one small paintbrush. no longer flexible.
• one calculator. non-functioning.
• one thin piece of metal. a threshold? cornering of some sort? it looks too short to be useful. even if i could figure out its purpose.

• three pillowcases. almost down to a reasonable number.
• one Ikea timer. sometimes things really are too cheap.
• zinc lozenges. too horrible to contemplate, even if they work.

• one collapsible laundry hamper. collapsing.
• one refrigerator magnet. ugly
• one vegetable peeler. i have another much better one.
• one nearly empty bag of hot cereal. we have two other kinds we don't seem to eat, either.
• one crappy aluminum pie tin. should i ever decide to bake a pie, i will purchase a much nicer one.

• one subscription to an online dating site. harder than it sounds.
• four books:
• Confessions of a Slacker Mom. funny. tiny. wonder what she got paid?
• The Explosive Child. enough said.
• My Dream of You. read.
• People With Dirty Hands. i am not actually a gardener, i just like gardens.

• one wooden basket with ducks on it. much nicer than it sounds.
• two kids' dvds. everyone here has outgrown them.
• one electric drill. with power cord. and rust.

• three small sheets of vinyl flooring. all different patterns.
• one long-sleeved t-shirt. i finally wore it, and promptly stained it.
• one pajama top. trashed.

• a gift box of three bars of soap. not nice enough to regift.
• the box, charger, cord, and manual for a phone i no longer own.
• and another charger. these are very hard to throw away.
• cords to two printers i no longer own.

• twelve cds. some of them no longer readable by my current operating system.
• a shirt. i can't do that hippie thing.

• a big stack of children's drawings. plenty more where they came from.
• a lingerie bag. for the washing machine. apparently i own two of them.
• a large painted glass rock. honestly.
• all of the school photos i never gave to anyone.
• a yoga mat. i am possibly the only person in america who does not do yoga.

• an informational magnet. still relevant, just not very magnetic.
• two green ceramic bowls. i have too many bowls of disparate styles and colors.
• two bottles of water treatment drops for the aquarium. which now houses a lizard.
• four containers of fish and frog food. reminders of the dearly departed.
• one unidentifiable plastic piece of... something.
• is it ribbon? is it tape? one roll of unpleasantly sticky green stuff.
• one bottle of solidified gorilla glue.

• a film camera. i have two identical ones - kind of nice, should film remain available.
• a bra. ill-fitting.
• a small cloth camera case. do i still own this camera?
• another rock! they are everywhere.
• a lovely blue crocheted purse.

• a promo leash from the vet's office. i wish they'd just use ours while we're there.
• a bottle of valerian capsules. expiration date '03.
• four of a set of five colored glass bud vases. i kept the blue one.

• two glass pitchers and one glass vase. left over from my long-defunct business.
• two colored glasses. part of an old project i no longer have any interest in.

• four rocks. they often end up in the dryer.
• three pillowcases. i have an incredible number of pillowcases.
• an irredeemably stained placemat.

• an almost full bottle of trader joe's cleaning soluntion. it smelled terrible. 
• a jar of jalapeno/wasabi hot sauce. i kept swearing that i loved it, but i think i was wrong.
• a box of photo corners. how have these escaped earlier purges?
• another piece of partnerless tupperware. just when i think it's all gone...
• a book, The Private Life of the Rabbit. not sure why i have it.

• one paper globe lampshade for hanging bulb. tired of it. it is easier to replace things that are gone than things that remain.
• one metal ladle. i have two, i only need one. 
• four company logo t-shirts. i don't have to wear t-shirts to work anymore.

• a green shirt that i used to love. the last four times i put it on, i decided it wasn't quite right. why try it a fifth time?
• four large pieces of origami. my children's strategy for handling artwork they no longer want is to give it to me.

• a bag of candle-making supplies. who wants homemade candles?
• a glass mixing bowl half-filled with some sort of wax. i'm sure it could be melted and cleaned and reused; in short, a project that would sit for months on a shelf.
• five pairs of foam sunglasses, beach-themed. obviously, no explanation is necessary.

• one barrette. the plastic coating peeled off, revealing an ugly cheap piece of metal.
• five rocks. it is astonishing how many rocks i find carefully tucked into corners of my house.

• one package of plastic knives. i don't ever host picnics for 25.
• one package of plastic spoons. ditto.
• one package of #357 batteries. once known as hearing aid batteries. i threw away the one thing i owned which used this size battery two weeks ago.
• one broken plastic hourglass. why do i still own this?
• one drawing by my daughter. she is prolific, i can't keep them all.

• a blue rubber dog brush. completely ineffective
• a picnic thermos. wrong size for martinis.
• a painted glass. i will never never use it.
• a small glass vase. bought for a project long since abandoned.
• a book, 1001 Ways To Market Your Small Business. sigh.

• two baby teeth. honestly, yuck.
• one key ring. i have a key ring. the kids have key rings. the spares are on a ring. this one is completely extraneous.
• two metal canisters. i adore these canisters; in five years i have not found a use for them.

• two small wall hangings someone made for me. they were lovely.
• one tiny purse. it is the most beautiful little purse i have ever seen.
• a long-sleeved hooded t-shirt. i wore it every other day last year.
• a broken bowl. my daughter broke it. she wanted to keep it. i hope she forgets about it.
• three pieces of chalk. the blackboard kind. we only use the sidewalk kind.
• the half bar of soap that lived on the kitchen sink. i hated that soap.