• eight brackets. seemed like a good idea at the time.
• one tennis ball. we do not play tennis.

• one new drywall screen. a job i hope never to do again.
• one paint stirring stick. so many of these.
• an almost-empty bottle of wood glue. just enough to start a project then get stuck.
• a plastic putty knife. plastic?
• a bag of random sink hardware. i hate plumbing.

• paint sample. hmmm, looks like glow in the dark.
• light switch. must have been replaced with... something else.
• electrical out. definitely replaced with a different one.
• switch plate. unused in this house.
• bunch of wires. which could likely be used in a really cool art project. but.

• two bottles of hair product. no wonder this is a multi-billion dollar industry.
• three metal grid walls. sold, which is always a nice way to get rid of something you don't want.

• a box of green paperclips. so bright.
• a box of random hardware. so useless.
• a bright pink jewelry bag. so empty.
• a flowerpot. so ugly.
• a pair of socks. so worn out.

• one curtain rod. too short and ugly.
• another curtain rod. which i meant to fix eight years ago.
• two pamphlets from a previous job. goodbye and good luck.
• paperwork from a long ago fmla leave. who cares?

• a shower caddy. no place for this in my beautiful new bathroom.
• an old electrical outlet. unknown to me this was replaced with a newer, better one.
• all-day callous cushions. makes me hurt to look at the package.
• a pad of green paper. which reminds me so much of a particular time.
• a tiny bar of soap. because, how many?

• two polishing pads. i think i used to own a polishing appliance of some sort.
• one aquarium light. i must have owned an aquarium at some point.
• one aquarium thermometer. see above.
• one package wire connectors. just say no to diy electrical work.

• two vent elbows. just the kind of thing you might find a use for two weeks after throwing it away. or not.
• a mug. just a hairline crack, but we know where this is leading.
• a pair of gardening gloves. too small, very stiff. they might encourage you to rethink weeding altogether.
• the lid to a candle. i don't get it either.

• one bottle yoga mat cleaner. who am i kidding?
• one tiny set of wind chimes. the children put things in my way when they do not want to throw them away themselves.
• one set closet door hardware. still the wrong size.
• a pair of biking shoes. for spinning. hahahahaha.
• one t-shirt. re-regifting.

• cool paper bowl. made by someone else's kid.
• a plastic folder. feeling very guilty about those plastic islands.
• one hat. i am hoping we are almost too old for dress up clothes. 
• a piece of hardware. from... something that apparently doesn't really need this piece to function.
• a flask. i guess i only need one flask.

• a bag of ikea hardware. slightly worrisome when there are leftover screws.
• an origami crane. clearly replaceable.
• a strip of black fabric. possibly a witch costume remnant.
• a pair of black socks. the only uncomfortable black socks from a curated collection. also the only ones not stolen by my progeny.
• a large bunch of dried oregano. oregano is sadly underrepresented in our diet.

• spray nozzle. ancient work-related gear that i would like to forget about.
• a mop/broom hook bracket. maybe if i keep it for another five years i will install it. ha.
• an orange plastic bracelet. if it ends up in the dryer it is mine.
• a 'jewel'. ditto.
• a badge featuring a chipmunk. beaver? hedgehog? i left my glasses in the other room.

• picnic jug. non-thermal. been trying to shed this for two years.
• laser-cut geometric stainless steel blocks and rings. amazingly cool. 
• ancient glass light fixture. must not make assemblage artist friend into dumpster. but.
• cocktail napkins. i should have more parties.
• blue paper star-shaped hanging lampshade. now i never have to find a place to hang it. ever.

• a pile of plastic bags. not so necessary now that i no longer have a dog.
• a book. frida kahlo for first graders. brilliant.
• three paint brushes. we have a lot of paint brushes.
• a piece of hardware. part of a doorknob?
• a box of stationery. wish we used more of this.

• a bunch of plumbing parts. including that faucet that has been dripping for years.

• a light fixture. after wandering the house, searching for a place to mount it.
• a pair of hinges. heavy, i don't remember what they were for.
• two mid-century sugar bowls. there is a collector in me.
• a yellow magnet. i hate that magnet.

• a metal plate. for an electrical project, perhaps?
• a coloring book. eric carle, a good one.
• a potato baking sack. surprisingly useful, though underused.
• a metal staple. doesn't seem useful, all by itself.
• a small white rock. they slip in at the open windows, in pants pockets, in palms no one is paying attention to.

• three pairs of hinges. previous generation, i'm sure they've all been replaced.
• a handful of various hardware. it's only useful if you use it.

• one allen wrench. so many allen wrenches in the world, many of them in my basement.
• two pieces of hardware. one looks useful, one not.
• three batteries. stashed in the bottom of an almost-empty box.