• one placemat. we just don't use them all.
• a bunch of small paper napkins. these are just annoying.
• two large tubes body lotion. too fruity.
• one bottle face cream. no, i'm really not ever going to start an evening skincare regime.

• a big glass block. i made it. so i can throw it away.
• a fragment of a story i wrote. boring.
• another air conditioner remote control. i can't believe they make these.
• a small tub of body butter. which seems to have gone off.
• a key. no idea what it might unlock.

• three books. read 'em.
• one tiny tub dental cream. no idea.
• one container body butter. ginger sparkle?

• one pair of curtains. long stored, no longer desired.
• one bottle pet shampoo. no more pets.
• one tube face cream. smell is important!
• a small box with a tiny jar and miniscule post-it notes. no idea.

• an ice pack sleeve. looks complicated, if effective.
• a tiny roll of bandage/tape. losing its stickiness.
• a pumice stone. one is enough.
• two more t-shirts. i hope i am done with t-shirts for a while.

• one cd. not sure how this one has survived the purge.
• one tiny bottle of lotion. ditto
• one key. to someone's car...
• one nail clipper for pets. sad reminder of all the pets.
• one black christmas tree soap, covered in green glitter. creepy.

• one more green plastic cup. a terrible shade of green.
• one bar stinky soap. not in my shower...
• three makeup sticks. eyes? lips? brows? i'm not good at makeup.

• a remote control. no television to control.
• sunscreen. this will undoubtedly be past its usefulness when we finally see the sun again.
• a pair of toe-separator things. one would think we practiced pedicures here weekly.
• a bunion imitator thingy. an extra.
• a ring that must once have been a useful part of...something.

• seven soft-drink flavored lip balms. not technically mine to toss, but they have cluttered up my favorite yellow bowl for going on two years.

• one shirt. bad color for me, and it's sprouting a hole.
• skincare samples. blister pack nightmare.
• kid's book. more shelf space is not going to magically appear.
• kid's ski gloves. on to a smaller kid.
• rubber neon toy. i am annoyed that resources both natural and human were depleted to create this thing.

• one package antihistamines. don't work for asthma.
• one tiny bar of soap. stinky.
• one tiny bottle of lotion. same.
• one bottle calamine lotion. kept mainly for the nostalgic lou reed reference.
• one bottle cough syrup. the effective stuff makes me high, the stuff that doesn't make me high is ineffective. a losing situation.

• two nit combs. i know, sorry.
• one breathing measurement device. if it's that bad, i'm on my way to the e.r.
• mini bar of soap. only the bad-smelling one.
• bath salts. ditto.

• a sponge. which purports to remove dog hair from upholstery, but does not.
• a bottle of sunscreen. apparently even if it is unopened it only lasts for a year. lame.
• a tube of lotion. which does not absorb.
• a small glass tile. extremely beautiful, totally useless.
• a picture frame. too ugly to keep.

• a bottle of cheap lotion. never buy the cheap lotion.
• a bottle of cheap shampoo. never buy the cheap shampoo.
• a cool pin. that i do not wear.
• a bra. workhorse no more.
• five spent markers. we have a lot of writing utensils in this house.

• two keys. which do not fit any of my four exterior doors.
• one bottle of sunscreen. still skeptical about the one-year expiration hue and cry.
• a wok-with-a-handle. came with the house.
• a bolo tie. despite the gorgeous piece of jasper on the clasp.

• a tube of sunscreen. way past it's usefulness date.
• one more green plastic cup.
• another lovely picture by a child. awkward shape to store.
• a tube of some sort of cosmetic. unloved
• another pair of socks. much loved, but with holes.