• three bowls. leftovers from previous set.
• one plate. ditto.
• small electric skillet. no idea where this came from.

• three coasters. pretty, but prone to falling apart.
• one photo cd. we are fresh out of cd drives.
• one old dishtowel. surprisingly appealing despite the stains.

• one small spray bottle. winters in oregon really don't need more moisture.
• one coffee table. back to its original home.
• one small vintage serving tray. well-liked but long hidden.
• one very cool little cardboard box. which will never be visible when i need it.
• one very cute tiny turkey. collecting dust.

• one graphic novel. it's zeus!
• one tube of lip gloss. extremely pink.
• one glue pen. which seems like one iteration too many.
• a neti pot. such a great idea. but no.
• one dishtowel? cleaning cloth? with a lovely tree motif.

• one more piece of muddy tupperware. no more plastic containers.
• two bottles of dried up tempera paint. living in the garage for some reason.
• some very pink ribbon. ghastly.
• most of an outdoor solar light. the rest is likely under ground by now.

one can of the finally dried up remains of that ugly pink paint. in the end everyone hated it.
one can of rust-infused ceiling paint. because ceilings are the worst.
the pot that caught fire. good memories but yuck.
two composite flower pots. hope someone wants them because they may exist for a thousand years.

• three jars. if there is nothing in them, i fail to see their purpose.
• two small flashlights. there is a point at which fixing things seems more trouble than it's worth.

• one pair of slippers. too well used, and too unsightly for further use.
• all the plastic plates and bowls. did i learn nothing from montessori?
• a key that fits no locks. somewhere a door is permanently closed.
• two throw pillows. the name says it all.

• three flower pots. you can have too many flower pots.
• one thermos coffee pot. no lid. defeat.
• one dish towel of odd proportions.

• a bottle of hair conditioner. i knew we would hate it before we even opened it.
• one fork and two spoons. they don't have to match, but they do have to complement.
• an unattractive pair of earrings.

• a grater with a handle. less handy than anticipated.
• a glass lid. i almost remember what this used to cover.
• a plastic lid. i remember the bowl it once covered, but not its fate.
• a truly terrible strainer. life will be more beautiful without this in it.
• a truly terrible plastic cup. life will be more elegant without this in it.

• a cloth. for polishing? so soft....
• one paper kite. well-engineered.
• one twisted length of copper wire. purpose unknown.
• a plastic die. downscale version of the magic eight-ball. 'ask again'
• set of three plastic measuring spoons. you can estimate the quarter teaspoon.
• a piece of white ribbon. too short to be useful.
• one change purse. if we had a dollar for every money container we own...

• three-hole punch. definitely worth paying for quality on this item.
• cell phone case. owned by many, used by none.
• plastic eraser case. move over, banana slicer, a less useful object has been found.
• an extra corkscrew. not a bad extra to have, actually.
• mardi gras beads. lots of them. the possible culprit of the global warming debacle.

• three books. there is always one more extra book.
• one bedsheet. potentially useful items, bedsheets.
• one ladle. a single ladle should be adequate for a household that generally steers clear of soup.

• two plastic spatulas. free with purchase.
• two pairs of shorts. unworn shorts. stylish shorts. lovely shorts.
• one small yellow silicone rolling pin. hands down my cutest kitchen implement.

• one zip drive. zapped.
• two sets of arty postcards. the touristy ones are the only ones worth sending.
• one small pad of paper. scraps are so much more appealing.
• one tiny potholder. designed to fit over the handle of a skillet, and would be very useful if i ever remembered to use it.

• a t-shirt. with writing on it. never going to happen.
• a nightgown. worn to a literal rag.
• a cloth bag. a very nice, soft cloth bag. yup.
• an ice cream scoop. seriously, i buy ice cream twice a year.
• a very small notepad. i must stop taking these from hotel rooms.

• one large metal mixing bowl. and then there was one...
• one sports bra. which is not so helpful languishing in the bottom of a drawer.
• one picture frame. ugly.
• one pair of slippers. which have seen a lot of use.
• one growth chart. too late, we've been using the hallway wall for years.

• a metal plate. for an electrical project, perhaps?
• a coloring book. eric carle, a good one.
• a potato baking sack. surprisingly useful, though underused.
• a metal staple. doesn't seem useful, all by itself.
• a small white rock. they slip in at the open windows, in pants pockets, in palms no one is paying attention to.

• one skirt. pretty but unflattering.
• one filter thingy for a fish tank. no fish.
• one red plastic tape dispenser. oddly beautiful, but empty.
• one ceramic pie plate. formerly a receptacle for pet supplies.
• one watch. needs a battery.