• a chipped mug. gotta have standards.
• a pillowcase. the number of pillow cases that find their way into this house is alarming.
• a sheet. thought i'd caught all the twin-sized bedding.
• two bottles of lic shampoo. power of positive thinking!

• one graphic novel. it's zeus!
• one tube of lip gloss. extremely pink.
• one glue pen. which seems like one iteration too many.
• a neti pot. such a great idea. but no.
• one dishtowel? cleaning cloth? with a lovely tree motif.

• two hairbrushes. of seven???
• one pad post-it notes. so limiting, those tiny squares.
• one bottle of supplemental amino acids. so many supplements. still tired.
• one pocket calendar. still not used halfway through the year.

• two bottles medication. one human, one lizard.
• one plastic... something. which once had name and purpose.
• a pack of stickers. purchase date: early childhood.
• a piece of ribbon. too short, too short.
• a yellow marker. always the one unused.
• a tiny yellow plastic cup. used quite a bit.

• five lice-killing compounds. ever the optimist.

• one small box with lid. very nice. inexplicably empty.
• one device for filing the nails. i have never understood the purpose of this tool.
• the remainder of a bottle of lotion. aveda. way too much aroma, therapeutic or otherwise.
• one light fixture. that's a generous description.
• one pair crutches. don't remind me.

• binder thesaurus. this is the genesis of the overstuffed binder
• binder dictionary. less used than carried.
• rubber gloves. who still uses these?
• l-glutamine. i don't know.
• calcium. i should probably take those.

• two red picture frames. i bought these. insanity.
• a photo display system made up of paperclips, blackbirds and string. nifty.
• one cookbook. as though i go anywhere other than the internet for recipes.
• a patch for denim. useful, though not likely to be used.
• an orthopedic corset. it pains me to discard an item with such an evocative name.

• a pair of toy boxing gloves. where do i begin?
• one splint. let's be optimistic.
• last year's ski passes. i wish i were skiing.
• one fish magnet. so large that it obscures that which is posted.
• a small plastic cup. remarkably indestructable.
• another magazine. i swear they breed.
• two picture frames. i blame ikea.
• five pieces children's art. there is more where that came from.

• one jar of polyethylene glycol. you would throw it away too.
• one cookbook. i know it's probably sacrilegious, but i get all my recipes from the internet.
• one cloth wine carrier. if were to buy twelve bottles at once, they would come in a nice cardboard box.
• two more books. i belong to the greatest library system in the country.

• two flower pots. they seem to replicate when i'm not looking.
• three jars of vitamins. they only work when you swallow them.

• a bottle of makeup. wishful thinking.
• a bottle of theanine. not one of my essential aminos, apparently.
• a pair of pajamas. the easiest kind of clothing to keep around for too long. 
• a pile of dead ballpoint pens. one of which i picked up at a juneau hotel during my honeymoon twelve years ago. it outlasted my relationship by three years, though probably got less use.

• this year's course catalog for next year's high school. um, yes, useless.
• candle incense fusion mess. and yes, i am throwing it away, not recycling it, even though there is a glass somewhere in the midst of it.
• the extremely beautiful thank you card my aunt sent the kids. which was probably purchased in an exotic locale forty years ago. it has been enjoyed.
• three tubes of medication. for a condition i sincerely hope never to experience again.

• one package antihistamines. don't work for asthma.
• one tiny bar of soap. stinky.
• one tiny bottle of lotion. same.
• one bottle calamine lotion. kept mainly for the nostalgic lou reed reference.
• one bottle cough syrup. the effective stuff makes me high, the stuff that doesn't make me high is ineffective. a losing situation.

• a pile of hanging folders. hoping to need fewer, not more.
• a stuffed monkey. no one will notice.
• an old book. unread and very musty.
• a bottle of nutritional supplements. which i will never use no matter how long i keep them.
• a nail clipper for dogs. i will never be brave enough to use it.

• one small bottle of hand sanitizer. i believe in germs.
• one lumbar support device. i hope that by the time i need it again the technology has improved.
• one wrist splint. i hope never to need that again.
• one necklace. i can no longer remember where it came from, so it no longer has even sentimental value.
• one more plastic hourglass. one more than we need.

• a plastic syringe. we prefer salami as a medication delivery device.
• a thin black webbing strap. hmmm.
• a small heart ornament. for a tree? a present?
• a necklace. i will never wear it.
• an ipod charging cord. we must have at least four.
• four plastic cups. inadvertently stolen from the bowling alley. oops.

• a jar that holds the end of a candle. not good for much else.
• an old bottle of vitamin D drops. ineffective.
• a roll of drywall tape. it is my goal never to hang drywall again.
• a swiffer mop. unused since i moved in.
• a package of rubber gloves. no wonder my hands are so trashed.

• one switch plate cover. they are starting to rise to the surface like dead fish.
• one can of pepper spray with accompanying leather holster. i will never have the presence of mind to use this should the need arise.
• the pieces to a lock and knob set, minus the doorknobs themselves. hmmmm.
• a bottle of castor oil. i was too scared to use it.

• three pillowcases. almost down to a reasonable number.
• one Ikea timer. sometimes things really are too cheap.
• zinc lozenges. too horrible to contemplate, even if they work.