• a babysitter training cd. mac and cheese, hide and seek, time for bed. done.
• pocket diary for 2010. no entries.
• remote control for discarded docking station. don't get me started on the amount of money i have spent on substandard technology.
• stuffed dog. ugliest toy ever made.
• huge pink pom-pom keychain. for this we have rendered the earth nearly uninhabitable.
• seven magazines. I should stop being shocked every time i find another stash.
• four books. outdated eventually becomes uninteresting.

• a pair of sunglasses. surprisingly effective, but one of possibly eight pairs in this house.
• small pink hippo. when did we become a household overrun with stuffed animals?
• the small bag that holds a fold-up umbrella. I am quite sure the umbrella will never fit back inside.
• a calculator. still in packaging. why does a calculator need packaging?
• a glass coaster/window ornament. made by me.                

• one slinky with ceramic face. toy?  sculpture? creepy? yes.
• a whiteboard eraser. you guessed it, no whiteboard.
• a plastic bracelet. utterly charmless jewelry ever made.
• a plastic egg. first drop of the tidal wave.
• one half-full box nag champa incense. truly, words fail me.

• six single socks. so sad.

• a pair of shoes. shabby shoes. dislike.
• a pair of socks. how can socks be uncomfortable?
• two washcloths. our washcloth inventory is excessive.
• a book, much beloved. borrowable.

• grammar and writing practice book. what? we're not using that?
• a stack of watercolors. process, not product.
• a small pink stuffed elephant. so much cuter than it sounds.
• a rubber duck. with a painted tartan hat. oddly creepy.
• a hairbrush. from shortage to overabundance.

• a small purse. sadly empty of cash.
• a painted wooden box. also empty of treasure.
• one shower cap. standard hotel issue.
• a lavendar-filled pillow. more relaxing when not clutteringup an unopened drawer.
• one scarf. pretty, but.

• a cloth. for polishing? so soft....
• one paper kite. well-engineered.
• one twisted length of copper wire. purpose unknown.
• a plastic die. downscale version of the magic eight-ball. 'ask again'
• set of three plastic measuring spoons. you can estimate the quarter teaspoon.
• a piece of white ribbon. too short to be useful.
• one change purse. if we had a dollar for every money container we own...

• a pair of black pants. bought a replacement, forgot to ditch the originals. 
• plastic parachute guy. one-time fun.
• a rubber ball. filled with glitter and a flashing light. so cool i almost kept it.
• two hand towels. only somewhat handy.

• three-hole punch. definitely worth paying for quality on this item.
• cell phone case. owned by many, used by none.
• plastic eraser case. move over, banana slicer, a less useful object has been found.
• an extra corkscrew. not a bad extra to have, actually.
• mardi gras beads. lots of them. the possible culprit of the global warming debacle.

• a pair of toy boxing gloves. where do i begin?
• one splint. let's be optimistic.
• last year's ski passes. i wish i were skiing.
• one fish magnet. so large that it obscures that which is posted.
• a small plastic cup. remarkably indestructable.
• another magazine. i swear they breed.
• two picture frames. i blame ikea.
• five pieces children's art. there is more where that came from.

• one magazine. stowaway on the picture book shelf.
• five dvds. will anyone notice if i ditch them all?

• one green pinwheel. top? plastic junk either way.
• one red flashlight. it does not work. i'm accepting that.
• one film camera. nice in its day.
• two allen wrenches. ubiquitous before ikea?

• a bag of ikea hardware. slightly worrisome when there are leftover screws.
• an origami crane. clearly replaceable.
• a strip of black fabric. possibly a witch costume remnant.
• a pair of black socks. the only uncomfortable black socks from a curated collection. also the only ones not stolen by my progeny.
• a large bunch of dried oregano. oregano is sadly underrepresented in our diet.

one cosmetics case with a broken zipper. filled with:
three pipe cleaners.
two cloth flowers.
a broken ring.
two rubber bands.
a pencil.
two candy wrappers.
a pencil sharpener.
a peer counseling guide. all snuck into the garbage while my daughter wasn't looking.

• one piece kid art. sweet, but not memorable.
• two magnets. useful, but not pretty.
• two. more. rocks. i am not making this up.

• spray nozzle. ancient work-related gear that i would like to forget about.
• a mop/broom hook bracket. maybe if i keep it for another five years i will install it. ha.
• an orange plastic bracelet. if it ends up in the dryer it is mine.
• a 'jewel'. ditto.
• a badge featuring a chipmunk. beaver? hedgehog? i left my glasses in the other room.

• nine rocks. i could devote an entire blog to the rocks.
• a flamboyant green purse. which seemed possible in p.r. but isn't in portland.

• a pile of red felt. yeah, that project is going nowhere.
• one mac laptop. old faithful. then not.
• two polar bear place mats. reality trumps sentimentality.
• one magnet. save the date for a date long past.