• one green rain jacket. no longer waterproof. or even particularly water-resistant.

• one pair of pants. why do i even own a pair of size 2 pants?
• a bag of tiles and magnets. hidden on top of the refrigerator, with the late dog's collar and a less-than-stellar report card.
• a stool. deemed unbreakable by my mother, who may not have anticipated the virulence of our vertical maneuverings.

• eight placemats. not quite washable enough.
• one paintbrush. crappy!

• five novels. four of which i did not finish.

• a remote control. no television to control.
• sunscreen. this will undoubtedly be past its usefulness when we finally see the sun again.
• a pair of toe-separator things. one would think we practiced pedicures here weekly.
• a bunion imitator thingy. an extra.
• a ring that must once have been a useful part of...something.

• a purple glass vase. i feel like i've thrown this away before...
• fascinatingly-shaped rubber gasket. for the shelley bag.
• plastic eyedropper. i rarely find myself in need of an eyedropper.
• the cloth case for my new earbuds. in the running for most ridiculous accessory to an accessory.
• a dress. the only dress i will ever own which i could wear braless. but do not. ever.

• three pairs of socks. holey, stretched and frayed, they should have gone long ago. which has not kept me from wearing them.

• seven soft-drink flavored lip balms. not technically mine to toss, but they have cluttered up my favorite yellow bowl for going on two years.

• a paint roller. some things really aren't worth fixing.
• a tiny crappy plastic ball. undoubtedly destined to become a part of the floating plastic island.
• a lint roller. i embrace lint!
• one dwell magazine. who are those people with their clutter-free homes?
• one sunset magazine. "cozy fall weekends" are so three months ago.

• a bar of soap, painted, with an army of headless matches stuck in it. satanic ritual? pet hedgehog?
• five brown glass jars. so useful! so unused.

• silicone frog beak. hand puppet? potholder? useless?
• defining gel. for hair. of which i have very little.
• homemade spider trap. dead spider included.
• felting needle case. why are tiny boxes so irresistible?
• creepy children's book. well, obviously.