Sunday, May 19, 2013


  • two small dinosaurs. the jurassic period is almost over here.
  • a magnetic metal bookmark. in this item, simplicity is more valuable than innovation.
  • a tiny metal sculpture incorporating an alligator clip. if it were also magnetic i would have kept it.
  • black suede boots. sexy, yet unworn. pointy and pointless.

Sunday, May 12, 2013


  • a little plastic box.
  • a little metal box.
  • a little paper box.
  • a little cloth box.
  • all put into a shoe box. and thrown away.

Friday, May 10, 2013


  • a small portfolio of fifth grade art. but i frame the best ones.
  • a tiny notebook. ubiquitous and so charming.
  • one kids' book. i want to keep everything today.
  • small blue vase. last of five, but finally.
  • phone charger for the car. it is a tiny bit dangerous to get rid of these.

Thursday, May 9, 2013


  • three balloons. kind of a pointless toy, in the end.
  • a coin of no nationality. talk about pointless.
  • a pipe-cleaner pencil grip. innovative, but sharp.
  • a pile of pencils. of limited value when eraserless.
  • a pile of homework. of limited value generally.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

  • an embarrassing number of hotel shower accoutrements. i may be a hoarder.

Monday, May 6, 2013


  • one tank top. done with ribbed tanks.
  • two fake pearls. which is overestimating their charm.
  • one very cute kid's apron. sadly underused.
  • a tiny notepad. a curse on tiny notepads.

Friday, May 3, 2013


  • five books. we will own only books we want to read.

Thursday, May 2, 2013


  • binder thesaurus. this is the genesis of the overstuffed binder
  • binder dictionary. less used than carried.
  • rubber gloves. who still uses these?
  • l-glutamine. i don't know.
  • calcium. i should probably take those.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013


  • purple tape dispenser. buy refills. um. probably not.
  • calculator. didn't know i had it. probably am not using it.
  • reading materials from previous semester. barely got through them the first time.
  • a shirt. whose time. has come.
  • ten cds. the end is near.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013


  • one shirt. i surrender. liking doesn't equal wearing.
  • another shirt. loving also does not equal wearing.
  • yet another shirt. this one barely counts, being a never-worn hand-me-down. still.
  • and still one more shirt. which i wear but should not.
  • one pair of socks. i just don't like them.



Sunday, April 28, 2013


  • a collection of string handles. i really can't come up with a better description.
  • a finger-knitted blob. hot pink!
  • a valentine. love, love, love
  • a kids' magazine. i don't know if they read them, but they sure love to save them.
  • a clear plastic box. i love boxes. so. much.

Friday, April 26, 2013


  • a paper rocket. cool!
  • textbook. old edition. one wonders where they all end up.
  • another broken flashlight. i just want one that works.
  • one map. i am unlikely to start bike commuting anytime soon.
  • seven little rocks. she may be doing this on purpose.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013


  • one ancient school workbook. be the work.
  • a connect the dots book. we like the ones with words.
  • gorgeous nordstrom jacket. but it was free!
  • tessa's wedding shoes. love you, tessa.
  • a bra. which goes with one single dress.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013


  • a stash of paint sample cards. so...pretty...want...to...keep...
  • a pair of winter boots. i honestly have no idea how these came to live in this house.
  • one pair of glasses with no lenses. smuggled out of my daughter's room.
  • a shower cap from the ritz. ditto.
  • a practically unused pair of overall snow pants, child's size six. a warmer climate might be cheaper.

Monday, April 22, 2013

  • two books. always with the books.
  • a package of sewing machine needles. i am mystified.
  • eleven cds. i didn't know i still owned that many cds.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

  • school pride badge. sorry.
  • orange woven purse. when dress-up clothes threaten to take to the streets.
  • two glass coasters. pretty. but not very good coasters.
  • one spool of thread. one could last me a lifetime.

Monday, April 15, 2013

  • one bottle eyeglass cleaning fluid. this seems like a fake product.
  • photos of family furniture. that i own. 
  • a plastic ruler. substandard straight edge.
  • one whoopie cushion. well-used.
  • a set of crayon/pencils. very nice, barely used.

Sunday, April 14, 2013


  • cool paper bowl. made by someone else's kid.
  • a plastic folder. feeling very guilty about those plastic islands.
  • one hat. i am hoping we are almost too old for dress up clothes. 
  • a piece of hardware. from... something that apparently doesn't really need this piece to function.
  • a flask. i guess i only need one flask.


Saturday, April 13, 2013

  • a lovely handmade photo album and a package of paper corners. i am amused that this once seemed like a project i might embark upon.
  • a cabinet knob. undoubtedly intended for my sister.
  • an eyeglass repair kit. how could i repair my glasses while not wearing my glasses?
  • a christmas ornament. i need a house with higher ceilings.
  • a scrunchy with lots of beads. hair ornament? bracelet?

Friday, April 12, 2013


  • a gigantic pile of papers and magazines. from a box of mine that has been languishing in a friend's basement for years. hope there are no more of those out there.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013


  1. anxiety. this may last.
  2. eight rocks. i have taken to tossing them out the kitchen window.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013


  • my favorite pair of jeans. if i do not throw these away, i will continue to wear them despite the growing rip in the crotch.
  • five felted sweaters. the craft project that wasn't.
  • one small felted sock. i can't bear to talk about it.

Sunday, April 7, 2013


  • a joker. a dashing, 70's era joker.
  • crimping beads. from whence, i know not.
  • a yellow vinyl purse. if i don't toss it, i will start carrying it.
  • a striped canvas belt. very 1973.
  • a pair of pants. good fit, nice style, great color. do not go with a single shirt, sweater or pair of shoes i own.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

  • one toy. possibly the only toy for which i have bought replacement batteries.
  • one textbook. sold back to amazon while still relevant.
  • three t-shirts. seriously, how many t-shirts can you wear in a week?

Monday, April 1, 2013

  • two red picture frames. i bought these. insanity.
  • a photo display system made up of paperclips, blackbirds and string. nifty.
  • one cookbook. as though i go anywhere other than the internet for recipes.
  • a patch for denim. useful, though not likely to be used.
  • an orthopedic corset. it pains me to discard an item with such an evocative name.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

  • a babysitter training cd. mac and cheese, hide and seek, time for bed. done.
  • pocket diary for 2010. no entries.
  • remote control for discarded docking station. don't get me started on the amount of money i have spent on substandard technology.
  • stuffed dog. ugliest toy ever made.
  • huge pink pom-pom keychain. for this we have rendered the earth nearly uninhabitable.
  • seven magazines. I should stop being shocked every time i find another stash.
  • four books. outdated eventually becomes uninteresting.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

  • a pair of sunglasses. surprisingly effective, but one of possibly eight pairs in this house.
  • small pink hippo. when did we become a household overrun with stuffed animals?
  • the small bag that holds a fold-up umbrella. I am quite sure the umbrella will never fit back inside.
  • a calculator. still in packaging. why does a calculator need packaging?
  • a glass coaster/window ornament. made by me.                

Friday, March 29, 2013

  • one slinky with ceramic face. toy?  sculpture? creepy? yes.
  • a whiteboard eraser. you guessed it, no whiteboard.
  • a plastic bracelet. utterly charmless jewelry ever made.
  • a plastic egg. first drop of the tidal wave.
  • one half-full box nag champa incense. truly, words fail me.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

  • six single socks. so sad.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

  • a pair of shoes. shabby shoes. dislike.
  • a pair of socks. how can socks be uncomfortable?
  • two washcloths. our washcloth inventory is excessive.
  • a book, much beloved. borrowable.

Friday, March 22, 2013

  • grammar and writing practice book. what? we're not using that?
  • a stack of watercolors. process, not product.
  • a small pink stuffed elephant. so much cuter than it sounds.
  • a rubber duck. with a painted tartan hat. oddly creepy.
  • a hairbrush. from shortage to overabundance.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

  • a small purse. sadly empty of cash.
  • a painted wooden box. also empty of treasure.
  • one shower cap. standard hotel issue.
  • a lavendar-filled pillow. more relaxing when not clutteringup an unopened drawer.
  • one scarf. pretty, but.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


  • a cloth. for polishing? so soft....
  • one paper kite. well-engineered.
  • one twisted length of copper wire. purpose unknown.
  • a plastic die. downscale version of the magic eight-ball. 'ask again'
  • set of three plastic measuring spoons. you can estimate the quarter teaspoon.
  • a piece of white ribbon. too short to be useful.
  • one change purse. if we had a dollar for every money container we own...


Tuesday, March 19, 2013


  • a pair of black pants. bought a replacement, forgot to ditch the originals. 
  • plastic parachute guy. one-time fun.
  • a rubber ball. filled with glitter and a flashing light. so cool i almost kept it.
  • two hand towels. only somewhat handy.

Monday, March 18, 2013


  • three-hole punch. definitely worth paying for quality on this item.
  • cell phone case. owned by many, used by none.
  • plastic eraser case. move over, banana slicer, a less useful object has been found.
  • an extra corkscrew. not a bad extra to have, actually.
  • mardi gras beads. lots of them. the possible culprit of the global warming debacle.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

  • a pair of toy boxing gloves. where do i begin?
  • one splint. let's be optimistic.
  • last year's ski passes. i wish i were skiing.
  • one fish magnet. so large that it obscures that which is posted.
  • a small plastic cup. remarkably indestructable.
  • another magazine. i swear they breed.
  • two picture frames. i blame ikea.
  • five pieces children's art. there is more where that came from.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

  • one magazine. stowaway on the picture book shelf.
  • five dvds. will anyone notice if i ditch them all?

Friday, March 15, 2013

  • one green pinwheel. top? plastic junk either way.
  • one red flashlight. it does not work. i'm accepting that.
  • one film camera. nice in its day.
  • two allen wrenches. ubiquitous before ikea?

Thursday, March 14, 2013

  • a bag of ikea hardware. slightly worrisome when there are leftover screws.
  • an origami crane. clearly replaceable.
  • a strip of black fabric. possibly a witch costume remnant.
  • a pair of black socks. the only uncomfortable black socks from a curated collection. also the only ones not stolen by my progeny.
  • a large bunch of dried oregano. oregano is sadly underrepresented in our diet.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

one cosmetics case with a broken zipper. filled with:
three pipe cleaners.
two cloth flowers.
a broken ring.
two rubber bands.
a pencil.
two candy wrappers.
a pencil sharpener.
a peer counseling guide. all snuck into the garbage while my daughter wasn't looking.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

  • one piece kid art. sweet, but not memorable.
  • two magnets. useful, but not pretty.
  • two. more. rocks. i am not making this up.

Monday, March 11, 2013

  • spray nozzle. ancient work-related gear that i would like to forget about.
  • a mop/broom hook bracket. maybe if i keep it for another five years i will install it. ha.
  • an orange plastic bracelet. if it ends up in the dryer it is mine.
  • a 'jewel'. ditto.
  • a badge featuring a chipmunk. beaver? hedgehog? i left my glasses in the other room.

Sunday, March 10, 2013


  • nine rocks. i could devote an entire blog to the rocks.
  • a flamboyant green purse. which seemed possible in p.r. but isn't in portland.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

  • a pile of red felt. yeah, that project is going nowhere.
  • one mac laptop. old faithful. then not.
  • two polar bear place mats. reality trumps sentimentality.
  • one magnet. save the date for a date long past.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

  • five unmentionables. out with the old, in with the new.

Friday, February 15, 2013

  • headband. don't ask
  • cd. so done with this technology.
  • gorgeous leather address book/calendar. it is sad when new ugly new technology replaces beautiful old technology. but there it is.
  • length of nylon webbing. fin. al. ly.
  • binder ring. yes, i am in a hurry.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

  • three books. there is always one more extra book.
  • one bedsheet. potentially useful items, bedsheets.
  • one ladle. a single ladle should be adequate for a household that generally steers clear of soup.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

  • clay fairy painted by my child. the charm has moved on.
  • jewelry box. what to do with those last residents?
  • four books. digging deep now.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

  • four brown bottles and an oval stone. beck tribute.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

  • a belt. even one belt is one too many.
  • a magazine. a rogue.
  • three books. the bedroom bookcase looks anorexic.

Monday, February 4, 2013

  • a huge pile of paper. livin' in the cloud: bon jovi for the new millennium.

Saturday, February 2, 2013


  • four crayons. yes, i could have reunited them with their pack, but that would involve a flight of stairs.
  • an ancient tutu. cannibalized for art projects.
  • two curtain rings. it is unlikely that i will lose any of the ones that are in use.
  • a papier mache ball. unfinished.
  • a handmade paper flag. dominion unknown.
  • six socks. the basket overfloweth.
  • a children's book. which cost 85 cents in 1958.
  • elmo visits the doctor dvd. a huge favorite about seven years ago.
  • one t-shirt. last remnant of a former relationship.
  • throw pillow. cheap is cheap.
  • narrow paint roller. one of two: the other is on the chopping block.
  • canvas book bag. well-designed, but still never used.
  • shoe box. on the fence about whether this actually counts, but it is leaving nonetheless.
  • large steel brush.
  • tiny steel brush. only a portion of the steel brushes i own.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

  • five books. only a handful of grown-up books left.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

  • blue corduroy jacket. misguided purchase.
  • aluminum tin. unreasonably awesome.
  • origami how-to book. we are overrun with origami gear.
  • pocket guide to bugs and slugs. i love this when i find it in the bottom of my drawer.
  • dvd of fifth grade macbeth production. i am going to mama hell.

Monday, January 28, 2013

  • two plastic spatulas. free with purchase.
  • two pairs of shorts. unworn shorts. stylish shorts. lovely shorts.
  • one small yellow silicone rolling pin. hands down my cutest kitchen implement.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

  • a black shirt. the inadvisability of owning a shirt that can only be worn under something...
  • a three-hole punch. the binder kind. inferior.
  • twine. cheap twine. plastic twine.
  • six rocks. seriously, enough with the rocks in the house.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

  • one metal trash can. i admit it. i like the plastic one better.
  • one wool hat. tragically felted.
  • two strings battery-operated christmas lights. unused for years.
  • one lunch bag. freebies just aren't that great.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

  • one shirt. seriously, i do not own very much clothing.
  • one tiny tube of lotion. note to self: please stop taking these from hotel rooms.
  • one nearly empty jar of nail polish remover. i am glad that i buy organic meat at a million dollars a pound only to have my daughter practically bathe in this stuff.
  • one dried up eyeliner. more contemplated than actually used.
  • one tin of unidentified white powder. my children are still (a little) too young for this to be a discovery that gives me pause.

Monday, January 21, 2013

  • glasses case. still on the fence about the glasses.
  • eyeglass polishing cloth. though ubiquitous, these are truly never around when i need them.
  • mother's day bookmark. sue me; it was not original artwork.
  • piece of plastic. once part of... something.
  • straw hat. how many ill-fitting straw hats does one family need?

Sunday, January 20, 2013

  • three more photo albums. careful curation.
  • one book. left here by someone.
  • one more dwell. sneaky.
  • word search book. silly.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

  • mardi gras beads. an ecological nightmare.
  • one package of straight pins. these are very cool.
  • two packages of needles. we have apparently been mistaken for people who mend.
  • one small beaded, sequined box. ornament. box.
  • pumpkin carving patterns. a travesty.
  • ancient egypt art kit. decorate your own tomb.
  • a sewing tin. fake vintage.
  • black costume sash. looks flammable.
  • blue modelling clay. we are more about 2d.
  • one bottle motor oil. inferior, apparently.

Friday, January 18, 2013


  • a water bottle. a curse on the manufacturers of crappy water bottles.
  • wallet magnifying glass. less useful than i had supposed.
  • nearly gutted pillar candle. note to self: only buy votives.
  • a dozen plastic rewards club cards. grrrrr.
  • a zillion pieces of paper. only art and literature will be tolerated.


Thursday, January 17, 2013


  • four brown dresses. you've never seen me in a brown dress? exactly.
  • one brown hat. it was a good look for a while.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

  • old boarding passes? how is this possible?
  • set of camera chargers. none of which charge either of our cameras.
  • one (cheap) digital camera. who still uses those?
  • one checkbook cover. who still uses those?
  • one tape measure. who still...? i mean, we have at least five others.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

  • favorite too-small jeans. ouch!
  • second-favorite too-small jeans. ouch!
  • favorite too-small shirt. ouch!
  • favorite shirt that i love but never wear. not so bad.
  • comforter cover that clashes with my bedroom walls. easy.

Monday, January 14, 2013


  • picnic jug. non-thermal. been trying to shed this for two years.
  • laser-cut geometric stainless steel blocks and rings. amazingly cool. 
  • ancient glass light fixture. must not make assemblage artist friend into dumpster. but.
  • cocktail napkins. i should have more parties.
  • blue paper star-shaped hanging lampshade. now i never have to find a place to hang it. ever.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

  • five decorating books. dwell interiors? get real.
  • candle holder. no longer pretty.
  • four other books. a series that my children are unlikely to want to read. despite my desire that they should.


Saturday, January 12, 2013

  • another photo album.
  • another hundred photos. first five years of parenting: overalls, bathtubs, bandaids and sleeping.
  • one photo album.
  • approximately forty photographs. we are cute when curated.

Friday, January 11, 2013

  • five books. apparently i have quite a few gardening books.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

  • a folder of 401k statements. i heart a paperless file cabinet.
  • one pair of sweatpants. too short. it's hard enough to look good in sweat pants.
  • several photographs. keep only what you want to remember.
  • a photo album. scanning project, anyone?
  • a pair of pants. beautiful pants. expensive pants. formerly very flattering pants. sigh.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013


  • one small dry erase board. it is fortunate that my children do not find me interesting enough to read this blog. 
  • the other eight magazines. possibly the most satisfying thing to throw away.


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

  • two advertising magnets. good cause does not = nice magnet.
  • three turtles. painted papier mache. pretty.
  • one elephant. fabric. pretty
  • one toy basketball hoop. plastic. not pretty.

Monday, January 7, 2013

  • the seven magazines in the living room. does anyone ever actually try recipes from back issues?

Sunday, January 6, 2013

  • eight mechanical pencils.
  • three felt-tipped pens.
  • seven ballpoints.
  • five hardened erasers. i was persuaded to keep every single wooden pencil. which could be considered disaster supplies. by someone who reads far too much post-apocalyptic literature.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

  • seventeen books. which you can peruse at the madison high book sale on january 26 and 27. my junk is your junk.